“People only see what they want to believe”
We are living in a world of control; someone always has to be in control and have the upper hand. I have had to sit by and watch games of control happen time after time and I do not know why people will continue to live in a fated circle.
Among my friends it is often the independent young woman who succumb to a possessive man all because they tell them things they know they want to hear and throw them scraps off affection to subdue their natural instincts to approach with caution because of their need to be needed. Its sad to see it happen and the person who you knew grow weak, fragile, anxious and insecure always worrying that they are in the wrong, always worrying that they have angered their master and must seek his approval because they will not find “someone who care this much again”….
Bollocks is my answer to that statement.
If you allow yourself to become another person’s possession you are allowing yourself to have a value that they dictate to you and as a result you will lose yourself, and for what? A lifetime of convincing yourself you are happy and “he is just tired, stressed, or what every other justification you will create” My life has been filled with ill-conceived romance and I noticed one thing, If you truly care about someone you will be the reason they can handle the stress of life not the cause of their stress.
A possessive person will often take control by slowly removing parts of what makes you who you are like your social life “do you have to go out so much?”, “why don’t you stay at mine more”, “why don’t you can and work at my place” all seemingly harmless statements but all aimed at drawing you into their control so that you lose your self-confidence and feel you’re unable to live without them, even if you did so before they came into your life.
Amongst these small subversions of your own free will you will also find them sending you messages less and less, you will send two messages for one of theirs, you will always send the first and last message, finding yourself having to ask permission to live your life how you see fit and who you can see, when you may go and be social…. you will always be the one chasing and scratching at your new master’s heels from his affection, attention and love.
Is this the way you want to live your life?
The strongest people in this world are strong because of one common reason, Pain.
Each person who is that consistent pillar of strength has suffered indescribable amounts of pain and found a way to ease their suffering by helping others and being there for them when they are needed. These same people have a deepened sense of worthlessness because of that all to frightening question “why was I not enough” and this insecurity is what possessive people latch onto and use to drag you down to the depths of despair, they know that the attention and meaningless words they say to you will be enough to keep you their because of the fear of getting hurt and that one human trait that causes us to endure such a travesty… hope.
“Those who live in a false hope would rather this than face the truth, Hope is comforting, it allows us to accept fate, no matter how tragic it might be”